Don’t let a scammer break your heart

In today’s hyper-connected world, finding love online has become more common. Three-in-ten U.S. adults say they have ever used a dating site or app, according to a Pew Research Center survey conducted in 2022. Online dating is more common among younger people. 53% of those under 30 report having used a dating site or app, compared with 37% of those ages 30 to 49, 20% of those 50 to 64 and 13% of those 65 and older. 

While dating apps and social media platforms have made it easier than ever to meet new people, they’ve also opened the door for a growing and devastating form of fraud: the romance scam. 

What is a romance scam? 

A romance scam happens when a fraudster creates a fake online identity and forms a romantic connection with someone to gain their affection, trust, and ultimately, their money. These scams often unfold over weeks or even months, with significant time and energy invested by the scammer to make the relationship feel real. They may engage in constant communication, send affectionate messages, and even talk about a shared future; sometimes going so far as to propose marriage or make elaborate plans to meet in person, which are inevitably postponed or canceled due to fabricated emergencies. 

Once the scammer has emotionally entangled their victim, they begin to manipulate them financially. This often involves an urgent and convincing story, like a sudden medical emergency, a stolen credit card or a frozen bank account, and a plea for help in the form of money transfers, gift cards, or even cryptocurrency. 

The criminals who carry out romance scams are experts at what they do and will seem genuine, caring, and believable. They may study their victim’s social media to mirror their interests and values, making the connection feel authentic. In recent years, advances in artificial intelligence have made these scams even more convincing. Scammers can now use tools like ChatGPT to compose convincing messages and use advanced AI tools to create fake audio or video clips that sound or look like real people. As AI continues to evolve, so too does the sophistication of these scams.  

Common tactics of romance scammers 

Love bombing: Love bombing is an intense display of affection and attention used to manipulate or control someone. Scammers love bomb their victims and move their relationship along quickly, professing deep feelings within days or weeks. 

Sob stories: After establishing trust, the scammer often experiences a “crisis” that prompts them to ask for money, like a medical emergency, death in the family, or a business problem.  

Isolation: The scammer may encourage you to keep your relationship a secret or discourage you from listening to friends or family who may express concerns and doubts about your relationship. 

Distance barriers: The scammer frequently claims to be in faraway locations to avoid in-person meetings or video calls. 

Red flags to watch out for 

Recognizing the warning signs of a romance scam early on can protect you from emotional and financial harm. While every scammer may use different tactics, they often follow a fairly similar pattern.  

Here are some key red flags to watch for when forming new connections online: 

• They avoid video chats  

• They always have an excuse to avoid in-person meetings, or schedule a meet-up and then cancel it shortly before it is intended to take place 

• They claim to live or work overseas  

• They quickly profess their love for you, despite having never met in person 

• They discourage you from discussing your relationship with friends and family 

• You receive poorly/oddly written messages, sometimes even addressing you by the wrong name 

• You can’t find or verify information about them online 

• Frequent family or personal emergencies 

• Their stories sound overly dramatic, unbelievable, or too rehearsed  

• They ask you to send them money 

• They refuse to provide proof of identity when asked 

How romance scams can lead to human trafficking  

While romance scams often involve financial fraud, these situations can escalate to involve dangerous criminal activities, including human trafficking. 

Scammers and human traffickers prey on vulnerability. People who are socially isolated, financially insecure, or looking for emotional connection are more likely to be targeted. 

Victims may be convinced by their scammer to travel to meet them or to take advantage of a supposed job or business opportunity arranged for them. Once they arrive, they may find themselves in a situation very different from what was promised. 

In some cases, the relationship turns into a method of control. Scammers may attempt to isolate the victim from their friends and family members, take away their identity and travel documents, or threaten them emotionally, physically, or financially. Victims may be forced into labour, sex work, or criminal activity. 

What to do if you encounter a romance scam 

If you suspect you’re being targeted by a romance scam, or you have already sent money or personal information to someone, it’s important to act quickly and take steps to protect yourself and others. 

Stop communication immediately: Cease all contact with the suspected scammer. Don’t respond to further messages, and don’t send more money, no matter what they say. 

Document everything: Keep records of all your communications with the scammer, including emails, messages, photos, and any receipts or transaction history if you sent them money. This can help with reporting and investigations. 

Report the scam: Most platforms have a function allowing you to report scams or suspicious activity. Report the scam on the platform where you met the person (Tinder, Instagram, Facebook, etc.) You can also report the scam with:  

• Your local police department or RCMP 

• The Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre, either by using their online reporting system (https://antifraudcentre-centreantifraude.ca/), or by calling 1-888-495-8501. 

• Crime Stoppers (1-800-222-TIPS) 

To help law enforcement fight fraud and cybercrime, it’s important for anyone who experiences a scam to report it to both their local police and the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre (CAFC). Local police can investigate the incident directly, while the CAFC collects and shares information with law enforcement agencies to support broader investigations and prevention efforts. 

Romance scams are a deeply personal type of fraud that prey on our trust, hope, and desire for connection with others. Some scams don’t stop at financial loss: they may even escalate into exploitation, coercion, and human trafficking.  

As scams become more sophisticated, it’s more important than ever to stay informed and alert. If something feels off, trust your instincts, reach out for help, and report it. Talk to your friends and family about these scams and what to watch out for when engaging with others online; raising awareness could help protect someone you care about from becoming a victim.